im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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