id be glad to
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
