i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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