yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
