so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
You work out of a Hotel?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
