My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
