Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
