I am in a vortex of obligation.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
