...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
