wrigley field is MILF paradise
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
my being single is dangerous.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
