I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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