I seem to have left my pride at pride
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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