if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My cat gives me a boner
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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