I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
