He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
