found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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