Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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