sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
