Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
we're making bets on your personal life
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
