But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wear drunk well.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
