Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
