about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
