oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
