just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
