ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
