plz talk dirty to me
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
