Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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