i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
