It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
