We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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