im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
