Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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