Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
