FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
