she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
