i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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