That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
