Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
