I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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