I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
