Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
