He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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