awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
