He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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