Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They are going to name an STD after you.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
