he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
