You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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