the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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