The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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