It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We have started to decorate penises.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
