I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
