Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
