Can i not drive my cunt home
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
