Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
