dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
