I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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