I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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