so that wasnt chicken after all
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
