Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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