you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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