I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
