I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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